Where the Heck Are We?
by DoctorWhotaliaandtheOlympians
Summary: Lyra is an abused child. Caitlyn is a girl looking for reality. Worlds collide and they meet each other in a different world. Both have secrets, both have special powers, one freaks out over big things, the other freaks out over small things. But the real question is, where the heck are we? Written by me and Silvereyedfreak. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

"Hey retard! Get your ass over here and do your chores!" Lyra's parents shouted. Lyra limped painfully over to do the chores over for the second time that day. Her life hadn't always been like this; her parents and siblings used to love her. But Lyra's mind was wired in a different way. The only comfort she ever found was in the anime she would sneak and watch every now and then.

"We said get over here! Are you stupid?" Her parents shouted, and her father threw a vase at her skull. The projectile hit it's mark, and pieces of glass broke over her head, and lodged itself into her skin. 'It's nothing. I can deal with it.' She thought, but stopped when she started to cough up blood.

Then the cold reality hit her: 'I am going to die.' She thought, horrified. She felt the last bits of life leave her body, and she struggled to focus on her parents' abusive words. She coughed up a large amount of blood and black spots danced across her vision.

"Oh shit... Goodbye cruel world." She whispered, and blacked out.

When Lyra finally opened her eyes again, she found herself in a very white place with a very dark shadow thing sitting in from of her. "W-who are you?" Lyra trembled.

"I AM TRUTH!" The creature proclaimed, and extended its arm toward her. "Would you like to make a deal with me?" It asked. "Bargain for anything, but remember equivalent exchange." Truth almost seemed to smile cruelly.

Lyra took a second to think. 'Anything I want...' "I want to live a life away from my parents." She stated. "I can't live with the, amy more..." She added sadly. Truth smiled wider.

"I can let you a life free of your parents, but it comes with a price" It said.

"Anything to save me from the nightmare I'm in now." Lyra replied confidently.

"Done. I will be sure to pick up my price later..." The Truth trailed off, and a large door that Lyra hadn't noticed opened, revealing blackness. The blackness grew thousands of tiny arms, all of which latched into Lyra's body, and began to pull her into the void.'Here goes nothing.' She thought, and allowed herself to be pulled in.

With that, Lyra disappeared into the black, and Truth smiled, thinking of the perfect price to take.


	2. Chapter 2

Caitlyn lay under her blankets, and listened to the storm outside her bedroom window. It had been raining for days, and she was losing sleep because of the constant rumbles of thunder and flashes of lightning. Sighing, Caitlyn reached over to her nightstand and grabbed a random book to read. She flicked on her book light and gazed at the cover. "Fullmetal Alchemist volume 1." Caitlyn didn't remember buying this book, but after a second, realized that her friend had given it to her for her birthday. She opened up the book, and started to read.

Halfway through, Caitlyn heard an exceptionally loud roll of thunder, seemingly right next to her house. A second later, a flash of light engulfed her house, sending Caitlyn spiraling into darkness. In other words, she passed out.

When Caitlyn regained consciousness, she rubbed her eyes and took in her surroundings. Right now, she was a blank white space, with nothing but a large door for company.

"Ah, Caitlyn, how nice of you to join me!" A voice -or many voices- called out. Caitlyn looked over her shoulder and noticed a white creature with a shadowy aura behind her.

"And just want the hell are you?" Caitlyn asked it, keeping her cool.

"I'm so glad you asked. I am what you would call the World, or Truth, or God, or All, or One. But I am also You." It said, and pointed to Caitlyn.

"Bullshit." Caitlyn scoffed. "Now, Mr or Mrs. World/Truth/God/All/One/You, why am I here?"

"Well this is certainly new." It mused.

"You didn't answer my question." Caitlyn growled.

"All right, fine. I brought you here because I just sent a girl to a different world, and I would like for you to join her." It chuckled.

"Sure. And am I going to get cake, too?" She asked sarcastically.

"You know what, I've had just about enough of you." It snapped its fingers, and the large door opened, and started to spew hundreds of thousands of hands spiraled out and grabbed Caitlyn and started to drag her inside the gate. Caitlyn began to thrash and curse the Truth, but it just waved, and wished her luck on her new adventure.

When the gate closed, the Truth sighed in relief. "Thank me that's over with..."


	3. Chapter 3

Lyra blinked rapidly as sunlight streamed through her vision. 'This is getting very confusing...' she thought. 'First I died, then I was sent through a giant door, and now I'm in heaven?' She sat up and winced. She cradled her head in her arms and winced at the slight pain. "Ah, my head..." She groaned.

"You're telling me." A voice replied from behind her. Lyra's eyes widened, and she shot up and stared at the girl sitting behind her. She had long red hair, brown eyes, and her face held an expression of pain.

"W-who are you?" Lyra stuttered. "A-and where are we?"

"The name's Caitlyn. And I'd like to know where we are myself." She chuckled, and then grimaced. "But how did I get a migraine from getting pulled through a black door?" The girl wondered aloud.

Lyra gasped in shock. This girl had been through the same thing she had!

"Are you the girl I'm supposed to accompany?" Caitlyn stood up and stretched, gazing at Lyra with a thoughtful look.

"I don't know." Lyra whispered and looked shyly at her boots.

"So I told you my name, what's yours?" Caitlyn asked, and held out her hand for a handshake.

"I'm Lyra. And maybe i am the girl you're supposed to look after." Lyra took the red heads hand, and smiled awkwardly. "After all, you did go through the same experience as I did."

Caitlyn laughed. "Well then, this can't be a coincidence. How about we go find something to eat and we'll talk more." Caitlyn slung her arm around Lyra's shoulder, and steered her towards a small country town about a mile away.


	4. Chapter 4

After Caitlyn had introduced herself to the small dark haired girl, she had font iced that the girl distanced herself from everything else. Caitlyn had felt Lyra flinch when she first slung her arm around Lyra's shoulder, and felt her quickly relax.

She also noticed that Lyra had injuries covering her body like tattoos. Mostly scars, but there were a lot of cuts bruises, and indents, probably from someone's fist. When they were almost halfway there, Caitlyn just had to know.

"Hey, what happened to you? You look like a train ran you over once or twice." Caitlyn laughed, but then quickly added, "no offense" Lyra's eyes darted around, searching for something to change the subject. Her eyes landed on a small cafe just a few meters away feom them.

"Hey look it's a cafe!" Lyra weasled out of Caitlyn's grip and ran ahead, leaving Caitlyn to try and catch up.

"Wait! We don't have any money!" Caitlyn called. Lyra turned around and started jogging backwards. She held up a large backpack, and answered.

"Then what's in these bags on our backs?" The small girl turned back around and ran into the cafe.

Just then Caitlyn noticed the bag on her back. She opened hers, and saw that there was many things inside, including money, guidebooks, even a few toiletries and femal products.'Stupid gender less deity thought of everything, didn't it?' Caitlyn thought, and closed her bag. "Well what are you waiting for? let's eat!" Lyra called from the cafe entrance. Caitlyn smiled, and raced into the cafe.


	5. Chapter 5

After the girls had their fill, Marianne sneaked away to call the cops and inform them about the two supposed runaways. Just when the girls were about leave, three police officers arrived. They glared at the two girls and grabbed their arms. One yanked Caitlyn the other yanked Lyra.

Lyra had a terrified look on her face, which contradicted her dazed eyes. She starting to scream. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please stop hitting me, Dad please!" She wailed, and red sparks shot out of her hands, forcing the officer to let go.

"Hey! Get your hands off of her, dammit! Can't you see you're scaring her?" In her anger, Caitlyn also spat out sparks.

"Hey officers, they're with us." All their heads turned, and they saw a short blonde boy at the door with his hands in his hips.

"And just who do you think you are, that you can order us to do that?" One of the police officers asked angrily.

"I'm Edward Elric," The midget stated, "the Full metal Alchemist" At those words, the two officers released their hold on Caitlyn and Lyra, and quickly saluted.

"Sorry Sir, we didn't know it was you." An officer said. With that said, Lyra passed out. Which was followed by a large scale panic.

"AH!" "She passed out!" "What are we going to do?!"

"Shut up!" Caitlyn shouted, silencing their panics. "Just let her rest. She's tired, and was put through quite a strain." At that, Caitlyn shot a withering glare at the officer who had grabbed Lyra, who wisely looked away from the red headed teen.

~Somewhere outside the cafe~

Two cloaked figures surveying the scene were smirking. "Well look at that. We have two new pawns in our game!"


	6. Chapter 6

When Lyra finally woke up, Caitlyn was staring down at her with a concerned look, with the blonde shortie standing next to her. "Where-" She croaked. Her question was met with sighs of relief.

"Thank god." One of the officers said. "We thought that she was going to kill us for sure if you didn't wake up!" Lyra looked at Caitlyn, who just smiled innocently.

"Hey, Lyr, how do you feel?" She asked gently.

"Like I got hit in the face with a rock." Lyra managed to get out.

"Well, that's better than being killed with a rock." Caitlyn laughed. Lyra turned her gaze to the midget at Caitlyn's side. She knew his face, but his name didn't register. Caitlyn noticed Lyra's pensive stare at the midget and understood. "This guy just saved our butts from being arrested. If it weren't for him, we would be sitting in a jail cell. He's- um, sorry, I forgot your name..."

"I'm Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist." The boy said. Suddenly, his name and face matched, and Lyra passed out again. Which once again, brought on mass panic.

"Oh no!" "She passed out again!" "Somebody call a doctor!"

"Shut up!" Caitlyn shouted, and pointed at Edward. "You. She looked at you, the passed out. Explain."

"I don't know! I'm as confused as you are!" He protested.

"I don't care, you are somehow responsible for this, so figure it out!" Caitlyn replied.

"Uhh..." Lyra groaned, and woke up again. "What happened?"

"You looked at him and passed out." Caitlyn explained. "An I want to know why."

"Because I know him..." Lyra said, and coughed.

"How do you know me? I've never met you before?" Edward protested.

"Long story..." Lyra explained. "I'm famished..."

"Dude, you just ate." Caitlyn smiled. "But I guess more food couldn't hurt. WAITRESS!"


	7. Chapter 7

Marianne reluctantly got Caitlyn and Lyra some more food, leaving to girls to talk. They couldn't talk very loud, because Edward and the officers were a few tables down, and probably eavesdropping.

As soon as the waitress was gone, Caitlyn looked at Lyra and spoke a command word: "Spill." Lyra sighed.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Lyra said.

"Try me. I've seen and heard some pretty weird things." Caitlyn replied.

"Alright, fine." Lyra's shoulder's slumped, and she began. "You want the truth? Okay. I wasn't sure where we were until I saw Edward. Now I know."

"Okay, then where are we?"

"In an anime." Lyra said simply. "Called Fullmetal Alchemist." Caitlyn looked at Lyra incredulously, and Lyra sighed in frustration. "I told you you wouldn't believe me."

"No, it's not that, it's that before I got sent here, I was reading a manga called Fullmetal Alchemist." Caitlyn said, and it was Lyra's turn to gape. But before she could say anything, Marianne popped out of no where with their orders.

After Marianne had left, Caitlyn and Lyra went back to talking.

"Really?!" Lyra said with shock.

"Yeah, I was bored and I had trouble sleeping, so I started reading." Caitlyn said.

"Lucky." Lyra said sadly. Then Caitlyn remembered How beat up Lyra was, and her spazz attack with the cops.

"Hey Lyra, why are you so afraid when people touch you? And why do you have all those bruises?" Caitlyn asked. Lyra become quiet, and then noticed Edward and a suit of armor walking towards their table.

"Wait, Ed and Al are coming over." Lyra said quickly, but you could see that she was still alarmed by Caitlyn's question.

"Ok, Fainty and Tomato, who are you, how do you know me, and why are you here?" He asked. Lyra started to panic at the fact that nothing was a good enough lie for this. Fortunately, Caitlyn was pretty good at making stuff up.

"Lyra and I just met when we fell out of the sky, and apparently we're in an anime." Caitlyn stated, and Lyra shot her a venomous glare.

"Seriously, answer my question. I don't have time for nonsense." Edward crossed his arms. Caitlyn smirked.

"Okay. My sister, Lyra, and I ran away from our home a while ago when our parents died, and the rest of our family disowned us because of our wanting to learn alchemy. They absolutely hate it and think that it's a sin against God. And who you calling a Tomato, pipsqueak?!" Caitlyn said. At her last comment, Edward practically exploded.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE COULD DRINK FROM A THIMBLE?!" He shouted, and started to attack Caitlyn. Panicking, Lyra pressed her hand to the wall behind her, and a large fist grabbed Edward and held him just out of reach. "LEMME GO! LEMME GO!" Ed protested, and Lyra just stared at her handiwork.

"HOLY CRAP! A HAND CAME OUT OF THE WALL," Caitlyn shrieked. Lyra turned her gaze to her friend in disbelief.

"Aren't you supposed to be calm?" Lyra asked.

"HOW CAN I BE CALM WHEN A FREAKING HAD CAME OUT OF THE FREAKING WALL? IT'S A SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE!" Caitlyn shouted.

Lyra sighed, and pressed her hand on the base of the giant fist. It retracted into the wall, letting Edward down. He looked at the two girls.

"You have a lot of explaining to do." He noted, and Caitlyn stopped spazzing.

"Oops..."


	8. Chapter 8

"Ooh yeah, Caitlyn-nee, I forgot that you always hated that trick... I'm sorry" Lyra lied smoothly, and Caitlyn just looked at her confused. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Fullmetal Alchemist, and his brother, Alphonse." she added, which seemed to calm Edward down.

"Ok, and thanks, but I think we are gonna need to take you to Colonel Mustang." Edward said, still a little pissed. Then Ed stared at them for a long time, scanning them.

"What are you staring at?" Caitlyn demanded. "Are you a perv and a shortie?!" Caitlyn yelled

"No! It just looks like you need new clothes you damn Tomato!" Edward shouted back.

"Who the hell are you calling a Tomato, Pipsqueak?!"

"YOU! AND DONT CALL ME SHORT!"

"I'll call you short all I like! SHORTIE! VERTICALLY CHALLENGED! FEA! BEAN SPROUT!" Caitlyn taunted.

"TOMATO! FIRE GIRL! CARROT TOP! FIREBALL!" Edward retaliated.

"Oh, that's it, Mister! The gloves are off now!" Caitlyn and Edward began to charge at each other, but Lyra and Alphonse held their respective person back.

"LET ME AT HER! LET ME AT HER!" Edward demanded.

"YOU WILL PAY, PIPSQUEAK!" Caitlyn shouted, with fire almost literally in her eyes.

"Um, I think we should all settle down..." Alphonse suggested, at which both Caitlyn and Edward demanded that he stay out of it. Alphonse complied, and dropped Edward, and Caitlyn loosened herself from Lyra's grip. But before they could get at each other, Lyra transmuted a wall between the two.

"You both need to calm down NOW!" She shouted, her voice reverberating throughout the cafe. "If you two want to fight, let's not try to destroy the poor little cafe while you're at it." Marianne, who was hiding behind the counter, nodded weakly, and went back to hiding. "Now why don't we all settle down and talk this out." She transmuted the wall back to the floor, and noticed that Caitlyn's face was white, and she was staring at where the wall came from. Thankfully, she didn't scream this time.

Caitlyn backed away from her spot slowly, and made way towards the door, keeping her eye on the ground, as if it was going to jump out at her again. Edward sighed and trudged out the door, muttering something about 'damn redheads.'


	9. Chapter 9

Once outside, a few things happened at once. First, Marianne locked the cafe door, a large explosion occurred, and the police started to call on their radios.

In the middle of the explosion, Caitlyn and Edward had started to fight in the giant dust cloud. Lyra sighed and sat down. She already knew that Ed wasn't going to give up anytime soon, and she hadn't known Caitlyn long, but she wasn't the type to give up and run. This was going to take a while...

Meanwhile...

"TAKE THAT, YOU STUPID FLEA!" Caitlyn shouted after kicking Ed in the face. Edward got up, even more pissed than he was.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE COULE GET RUN OVER BY A BUG!" He growled, and clapped his hands together, transmuting a large prison cell that entrapped Caitlyn. Edward noticed that whenever something was transmuted or something weird happened, Caitlyn would freak out and lose her cool. But this time, she rolled away just before she got caught, and pressed her hands against the ground, sending sparks running down the ground like snakes toward Edward. He knew from experience that that normally meant something bad, so he dodged and saw that where he was standing, a large boulder appeared out of the ground.

"Grr... STAY STILL! DAMMIT!" Caitlyn shouted.

"I COULD SAY THE SAME FOR YOU, CARROT TOP!" He shouted back, which, of course, go Caitlyn very angry, and she ran towards him with her fists out, and started to fight hand to hand combat with him. Edward managed to kick Caitlyn a few times in the stomach, and Caitlyn had landed a few hits on his head.

When the dust cloud had finally cleared, Caitlyn was on the ground, bleeding, but more or less okay. She spat on his feet. "So now what. You going to kill me?" She looked at Edward with absolute hatred.

"I'm not going to kill you. I just wanted to teach you a lesson, and he offered Caitlyn a hand. Looking shocked, she took it, and pulled herself to her feet.

"Thanks. You're pretty good at fighting." She smiled.

"You're not bad yourself." He replied. "Although, I'm curious on some techniques that you used."

"I'm a black belt in Tae Kwon Doe. Plus, I have an older brother, so yeah." She shrugged, and ran over to Lyra, who glared at Caitlyn, smacked her, and started yelling at her.

"You do realize that that was totally irresponsible and dangerous, right?" Lyra ranted. "Just look around you!" She gestured to the field that had just been used as a battleground. A broken jail cell sat sadly on the ground, and multiple other objects were also strewn around as if a tornado had just crashed through. Which wasn't far from the truth.

"You know, we should probably leave now..." Caitlyn noted, and started to walk in the opposite direction of the cafe.

"Hold it." A deep voice said from behind them. "I don't think you're going anywhere." The girls turned around, and saw a man in blue military uniform with dark hair and eyes glaring down at them. "You have a lot of explaining to do."

"Yeah, I already went through that." Cailtyn said dismissively. "If you hadn't noticed. She turned to walk away again, but the man put a hand on her shoulder, halting her.

"No, really. You're coming with me." He said, and put his other hand on Lyra's shoulder, and steered them towards a bunch of cars that had pulled up, their occupants being a bunch of other men in similar uniforms. They also had guns.

"Just who the hell do you think you are?" Caitlyn demanded.

"I am Roy Mustang. Rank: Colonel. And another thing, I am the flame alchemist.


End file.
